High Conflict Solutions Online Demo

The Center for Divorce Education's “High Conflict Solutions” course is intended to help parents manage stressful and difficult situations during separation or divorce.

The skills learned during the course will help parents protect their children from conflict. The course curriculum has been created by Dr. Donald Gordon, one of the nation’s leading experts in the field of divorce education and its impact on children.

For more than thirty years, The Center for Divorce Education has been dedicated to helping parents and children deal with the difficult process of divorce and separation. Based on our extensive research, we have developed highly effective methods for reducing the stress of divorce and separation for all parties. Our interactive, skills-based approach has been recognized by experts among the top programs being offered today.

Module Highlights:

The curriculum covers a wide range of topics, including effective communication strategies, managing emotional responses, and practical tips for creating a stable environment for children amid the changes.

Interactive Learning

The course utilizes a mix of interactive tools like role-playing scenarios, quizzes, and reflection exercises, making the learning experience both engaging and effective. A very strong instructional design makes the material and skills memorable. It can be taken in intervals on any internet ready device. The course uses the latest teaching methods to help parents retain the skills that will enable them and their co-parent to navigate a difficult divorce/separation.

In-Depth Resources

Every module provides a wealth of resources, including expert articles, case studies, and best practices, ensuring that parents have access to comprehensive information to help them through this challenging period.

Resources for Courts

To view the Course Background and Description booklet, specifically designed for Court Officials, click HERE.

Introduction

This program covers common situations in which children are put in the middle of their parents’ conflicts. It makes parents aware of these situations and the effects of their behavior on children. It illustrates effective and ineffective methods parents use to deal with conflict.

Every relationship has conflict. And every person in a relationship at one time or another contributes to the conflict. But mature and reasonable people keep control of their conflicts. They learn to manage it, and they do not let it destroy their relationship. Neither do they let it harm their children.

Workbooks

The High Conflict Solutions guidebook addresses the scenarios in the program where children are caught in parental conflicts, teaching effective communication and conflict resolution skills.

What About the Children? provides an in-depth examination of the impacts of parental separation on children and offers practical advice to help them grow up healthy and well-adjusted.

Both workbooks emphasize the importance of reducing conflict, improving communication, and ensuring children's safety and emotional well-being during and after the separation process.

Guided Questions & Quizzes

Divorce: A Journey Through the Kids' Eyes

High Conflict Solutions contains clips from "Divorce: A Journey Through the Kids' Eyes." This film presents emotional statements and testimonies of kids who went through different divorce situations, describing their emotional rollercoaster and experiences during the year prior to divorce (while still living with both parents), during divorce or separation, and their life experiences after divorce. This project serves as a messenger that brings helpful guidance to parents and kids who will be facing divorce in the future. The most important element of this documentary is guidance for millions of kids who are facing their parents' divorce, and priceless advice to them on how to cope with this challenging life situation.

Chapter 1: Carrying Messages

Divorced parents usually try to avoid talking to each other. They may be tempted to have the children do their talking for them. This creates a problem for children because many of the messages they are asked to deliver are difficult and usually cause an unpleasant reaction in the other parent. Children then feel torn between the parents, responsible for what happens next, guilty for upsetting a parent, and generally unhappy and resentful about being the messenger.

Chapter 2: Put Downs

For most couples, divorce or separation occurs because at least one of the partners is very hurt, angry, or disappointed. A combative divorce process makes these strong negative emotions even worse. Parents often "trash" one another. There is a powerful urge to let others know how much the parent has been hurt or wronged and to complain about how thoughtless or mean the co-parent is. A parent may seek revenge or an outlet for his or her frustrations.

Chapter 3: Money Problems

After divorce or separation, money usually becomes tighter for both parents. During the time parents lived together, arguments occurred most often over how each parent spent or saved money. After separating, this issue is still ripe for disagreements. Since parents are still linked through child support and other expenses arising from having children, they can never really be free of each other until the children are grown, and often are linked together even long afterward.

Chapter 4: Questioning

When children spend time with each parent in two different homes after a separation, both parents have a right to have certain information about the children's life in the other home. This is particularly true regarding school, doctor and dentist visits, clothing needs, special outings, and the children's general well-being and adjustment to their new lives. Sometimes, however, the children may be a tempting source of information about the other parent's life that may not be appropriate. The children should not be placed in the role of reporting about these private issues. Children may feel uneasy if they are asked about their other parent's private life. They may feel they are being asked to violate the other parent's trust and privacy.

Chapter 5: Never Married Parents

There has been a real shift in the relationships of parents who come to court over their children. It used to be that most divorcing or separating parents were in a traditional relationship with a man and a woman who were married. Now, many of these parents are not married to each other. Some parents have lived together—and raised their children together— for many years. They may be same-sex couples who did not have the option to marry or people who simply chose not to marry for other reasons. Some parents have had just a few years of raising their children together, and others have never lived together and have no experience with co-parenting.

Chapter 6: Arriving Late

When a parent is late to pick up their child, especially if it is a pattern, the impact on the child and the other parent is negative. The parents can get into a fierce argument when they assume the worst about each other's motives. When new partners are involved and criticize the other parent, tempers flare and the problem is not resolved. The child feels very stressed and can feel responsible for the fighting.

Chapter 7: Communication Problems

Most parents who are still together take care of parenting either by doing things together, or in a series of exchanges of duties. When the couple separates or divorces, this becomes very difficult to do, if not impossible. Since each parent now has his or her own home, each tends to want to do their parenting in their own way. This is in part because of ongoing anger and conflict — neither wants to “give in” to the other’s wishes. In a way, it is an attempt to assert a newfound independence. At the same time, however, it is likely to increase anger and conflict, as the other parent is seen as being stubborn, selfish, and uncooperative.

Chapter 8: Parents Not Talking

Ashlyn’s father arrives a little early to pick her up for his time with her, but Mom sees this as him trying to manipulate her. Mom makes Ashlyn wait to go out to the car with her Dad and in turn, Dad gets upset with Ashlyn for having to wait.

If these parents continue to refuse to have contact, it can lead to further stress in their daughter, and makes it more likely that one parent will begin seeing Ashlyn less because they don’t want to have interactions. Who loses in this situation? Everyone, especially Ashlyn.

Chapter 9: Parents at School

When Dad shows up at Armand’s school, both parents and the new boyfriend have a hard time communicating effectively. Both Mom and Dad call for Armand once he exits his class and put him in the middle of a tug of war. In situations such as this, where both parents want to be there for their child, there are many things that they could do to ease the distress of separation or divorce on their child(ren).

Here we will present some simple suggestions for doing things that can make a big difference in the two areas most critical for children: Conflict and loss of contact with a parent.

Conclusion

CONFLICT IS PART OF LIFE. It is important to note that conflict at some level is simply a part of life. But while conflict may be inevitable, it is not inevitable that we should react to it by getting even angrier, thereby making the situation worse. And we don’t have to react to it by lashing out at the other people involved or striking back should they lash out at us. You cannot control how others will react in a conflict situation. But you can control how you respond.

Lesson: Reducing Your Stress

This lesson focuses on techniques to help parents manage and reduce stress during and after separation or divorce. The animation illustrates practical strategies such as mindfulness, deep breathing exercises, and time management tips. It highlights the importance of self-care and maintaining a healthy lifestyle to better cope with the emotional challenges of co-parenting. By effectively managing their stress, parents can improve their interactions with their children and co-parent, creating a more stable and supportive environment for their family.

Lesson: How Your Mind Works

This lesson explains how thoughts and emotions influence behaviors, particularly during stressful situations such as divorce or separation. It illustrates cognitive-behavioral concepts, helping parents understand how their mental processes can affect their reactions and interactions. The video emphasizes the importance of recognizing negative thought patterns and offers strategies for reframing these thoughts to improve emotional regulation and communication. By changing their thought processes, parents can better manage their emotions and reduce conflict, creating a more positive environment for their children.

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CDE's Children in Between is a skills based program that helps children and parents deal with the children's reactions to divorce. This is the most highly recommended online parenting class in the United States.

The program is based on research that identifies the most common and stressful loyalty conflicts experienced by children of divorce.

*Included in SAMHSA's National Registry of Evidence-Based Programs and Practices

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